Sunday, May 9, 2010

Character Flaws?

I just went back and re-read this, as I'm prone to do. It's from last October (and has been since changed to private status) and it still applies, so I'm re-posting it now.
Is it bleak and dark? Yes, at times. Now, for a spiritual person, this is the time that they fall back on their faith. However, I am not a spiritual person. True believers that do not understand the atheist mindset would say that someone in a hypothetical situation like mine as having no reason to continue. So why do I just not end the suffering now? After all, it’ll probably be bad for some time. However, I know that this is all the life I get. It’s more precious to me than it was when I was clinging to faith. I will not throw it away in the hope of something less painful waiting after death. I have this one life and when it’s done, there’s nothing left. I will not throw it away.
For the record, I have been an utter a**hole during my life, especially to my ex-wife. I have many character flaws and much of my life has been a continuous effort to repair them. However, I have always been devoted to my friends and willing to drop everything if they needed me. Whenever someone has called me in tears, I've been willing to spend hours on the phone with them. If they told me that they needed someone with them, I would be there. If you're one of my friends, I want you to know that, because I don't think I've said it often enough.

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