Monday, March 22, 2010

Happy Days, My Ass

It's really odd to have one of your awakening moments be  watching a television show. Maybe I'm being naive, and a lot of people my age have similar moments where a bit of television is important in setting who they are. I've gone through a lot of effort to locate this clip, and I can only find the episode with no sound, so you'll have to bear with me describing it.

In the first season of Happy Days, there were little segments that had nothing to do with the story. I don't know if the writers were trying to add bits to be reminiscent of American Graffiti or the perceived, romanticized view of the 1950s, but in this case, there was no point in it. Ralph Malph was being a douchebag. In the fourth episode, Almost all the kids that hang out down at Arnold's get grounded because of a drag race so the place gets deserted very early, except for two very typically nerdy kids, the guy known as Moose. They share a very touching dance as the credits roll. This makes the first scene from the fifth episode all the more disturbing.

Moose is getting his order and Ralph and three kids are eagerly watching on, Ralph assuring that they just need to wait for it. Moose goes to put salt on his food when the entire shaker empties on his food, ruining it. He's visibly mad, and Ralph and the kids laugh it up. Arnold's is not huge, so Moose has to know who did it to him, but it's left alone as Potsie comes in and we get the story started.

As a kid, I saw that and thought that it was just sad. I felt bad for Moose, and could never really like Ralph Malph, because he could f**king do that to someone. Over the years the two scenes grew linked in my head and that made it all the more upsetting. Ralph was doing that to someone in public because they didn't fit in with the rest of the crowd. To do that to one of your friends is one thing, but to someone because they're an easy target is just wrong.

Growing up later, I was picked on because I didn't fit in. I was smart, I liked comics, I didn't play sports. I was an easy target. Well, I didn't have the guts to say it then, so I'll say it now.

F**k you, Ralph Malph. F**k you, anyone who did that to other kids growing up, and f**k you, anyone who thought it was f**king funny, because it wasn't.


  1. Patricia Leopard ShirahMarch 27, 2010 at 4:45 PM

    Just read this....and looking back we did make fun of you and I'm very sorry for ever hurting your feelings. But I did love you very and Carl! We did have some good times even if you didn't always ''fit in'' with us. But alot of times I remember you did fit in and we had a good time together! Those were some of the best memories with you and Carl your mom and dad. I miss Carl alot and think of him often. So, sorry for any ''bad'' memories I bestowed upon you growing up. We all do things in our lives when we are young and do not think about how it is affecting someone and obviously it really bothered you and I can totally see why. Now that I'm grown and with a children of my own I would never want to know someone hurt their feelings in any way . So from the bottom of my heart.....I'm truly sorry!! Love ya Jerry!!!!!!

  2. Keep in mind I'm talking about a show I saw when I was five or six. The point isn't that I was picked on, it's that from an early age I learned that people can be mean, and that there are no innocent victims. Of course at such a young age it was only, "why would someone do that? That was mean!"

    Believe me, Patricia, I have more animosity for the kids in eighth grade that pulled a lame-ass stunt with the maxi-pad. I just have to comfort myself with the fact that I've mastered future technology enough to call them douches on a global scale and they probably are still wondering how to set the clock forward on the car stereo.